After dark comes the flood. I can feel it as I start to fade off into slumber. That point of the eve when I remember how alone I am, how lost I am. It's almost nauseating. The irony is that i surround myself with those with a similar thought pattern to me. Pity, because I know most of these people are just in a basic rut. My mind is haunted, I find no joy where others find solace I only find jealousy and desire for vengeance. It's a sick game that my mind plays and I must force a smile, shake a hand, play the favor.
That ritual where two people combine their lives under the holy cross and declare undying love. Such a joke yet I attend. I wonder how long they will stay, it's pathetic that one puts dates on time in love. Love is merely a form of passion, and passion is vindictive. It can become you, consume everything that you are and should it leave you all that is left is a shell of what once was. I feel that passion in the form of rage. Howls from the beast within as i watch others embrace.
Yet it's not just in the form of a lover's walk that I admit to pain. No even in the simplest of forms such as comradeship. I sit here at this white blankness trying to formulate words to describe this.. emptiness. How can you? This act alone is ironic. Express my feelings of emptiness by filling a page. Humorous really, even the act of filling one's self full of positivism to help sooth to pain of the void. But is there pain there? They say there is but I take comfort there. This is where I slumber.
I'm watching them communicate again. Those silly creatures that walk by day. I hear them speak of matters to which they believe are righteous yet are no more than selfish. I've always found that ironic that a sinner such as I stand by the ways of the truly righteous. Ah yes mind you know this feeling as well as I. The great bridge that i create between the darkness and the light. Why can't people think of others? I watch these humans as they graze upon each other's emotions like cattle to the pasture. They were close when they claimed that humans were sheep, close but there is no shepard anymore. No these creatures are alike to the cattle. All they know is gluttony and reproduction. Once per change of season they are lead by men who lead them to what begins as greener pasture but by the time the beasts have ate the land it looks no better if not worse than the pasture before.
Oh nature how you teach us. Why does no one listen? Why is it that I sit here understanding the level of connection between all species and these humans have nothing better to do than to rip at each other. There is no tranquility in men feeding other men the lies to which they feed off themselves. Oh the chatter they create when they believe they have found harmony only to learn the truth of this veil.
I am losing my focus. I can feel the sensation of the day weathering my cells. Ah yes great slumber it is time for me to take the plunge into your silence and true tranquility. The one true peace that is always done ultimately.. alone.
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